Things That Never Cross A Man's Mind
by MarciaRebafan
Summary: It's Christmas time and Gibbs is bound to learn a hard lesson: Never ever mess with a woman during PMS. It never ends well.


**Author's Note:** Just a little bit of Christmas-y crack as we count down to the new year! Based on this prompt _MatteaAM_ gave me: **"Jenny is PMSing and she's really pissed and she takes it out on Gibbs. Must include food."** I really hope I did it justice even though it turned out to be the crackiest thing I've ever written lol. Enjoy, and have a good holiday season!

As always, I own nothing but my words - which may or may not be wrong, seeing how English is not my first language. On the other hand, if I owned NCIS, Gibbs or Jenny, I probably wouldn't be here writing fanfiction.

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><p>The house was uncharacteristically dark, Gibbs noted when he stopped the car in the driveway.<p>

Jenny should have been back from her shopping spree by now, and coming home in the evening lately meant coming back to a brightly lit, warm house that smelled of apples and cinnamon, where his cheerful lover waited for him, eager to show the results of her most recent Christmas shopping.

Now this… this was just odd.

"Jen? I'm back." He called, sneaking in and quickly shutting the front door to keep out the cold December breeze.

The house was actually warm and the scent of cinnamon lingered, giving the scene some semblance of normalcy, but his partner was nowhere to be seen.

Soft Christmas music echoed from the study and Gibbs followed it to find a distressed Jenny, curled up on the couch in her sweats. Her hair was a mess, candy bar wrappings were scattered all around her, and a large, empty bowl of popcorn sat abandoned at her feet. She was hugging a pillow and she was apparently in the process of crying her eyes out.

"Jen, what's wrong?" Gibbs said worriedly, rushing over to the sofa and crouching in front of her, gently placing his hands on her legs. "What happened?"

Jenny just shook her head and muffled a loud sob in her pillow, "Nothing, it's just… it's so beautiful!" She gestured to the TV with her chin and Gibbs turned around to see a blond child hugging his family on Christmas day.

He didn't need to take a look at the DVD case on the coffee table to know what Jenny had been watching.

Moving up to sit next to her, Gibbs shrugged off his coat and wrapped his arms around his sobbing lover, kissing her temple as he held her tight.

A quiet laugh rumbled through his chest at the absurdity of the entire situation, but he knew that taunting a hormonal woman was a bad, bad idea. Three marriages had taught him that much.

Still, he couldn't help himself and snickered shamelessly, "I thought _Home Alone _was supposed to be a comedy?"

Then again, maybe that was why those three marriages had all failed miserably.

Jenny tensed perceptibly in his arms and when Gibbs looked down at her, he really didn't like the way her green eyes flashed in anger, even with those few teardrops still hanging from her lashes.

"Sorry…" He mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear the word while he kissed her hair.

But Jenny was already pushing him away, "There's ice cream in the fridge and a chocolate bar in the cupboard. Go get them and come back here; We're watching a movie."

He chuckled uneasily: Why did that sound so much like a threat?

"We are?" He asked, getting on his feet.

"Yes, we are. We're watching The Notebook."

The smile fell from Gibbs' lips; So it was a punishment.

He cleared his throat nervously, "Maybe we could do something else, Jen… Didn't you eat enough junk food for one day anyway?"

The moment the words left his mouth, he cringed. He didn't even need to think about it.

_How to spectacularly put your foot in your mouth: The Easy Guide by Leroy Jethro Gibbs._

Jenny looked like she was ready to kill him with her bare hands, and at this point Gibbs would not put it past her.

"Do you value your life, Jethro?" She asked, her voice ice-cold.

"I… I can't say that I don't."

"Good. Then just shut up and give me my chocolate. Now."

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><p><strong>The End<strong>


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